Published Articles
What's a Mother to Do?
By Nancy Logue, Ph.D.
One headline screams after the next: Obesity, Diabetes Health Costs, Financial Crisis. Amid increased attention to the issue of weight in America, Michele Obama's "Let's Move" initiative to end childhood obesity in a generation focuses on teaching our children healthy lifestyles. Mothers want the best health for children but get confusing and contradictory messages about how to help.
In spite of more and more news about diet, exercise and health, and the time and energy spent thinking about it, rising numbers of children and adults are carrying weight that increases their health risks. A pervasive idealization of thinness in all media is mixed with a growing awareness of the dangers of eating disorders. As a psychologist specializing in eating problems, I see an epidemic of painful bad feelings and low self-esteem focused on appearance, shape and weight in people of all ages, sexes, shapes and sizes. I worry that more attention to weight issues will only make matters worse.
I attended "Weighty Matters: Effectively Communicating About Weight and Health" at PACE University in NYC in April, co-hosted by the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) and the STOP Obesity Alliance. Leaders from the seemingly opposite fields of eating disorders and obesity joined in a lively discussion with health journalists about sensitive and controversial issues. Can we love and accept ourselves AND pay attention to how we treat our bodies in our daily lifestyle choices? What should we be teaching our children?
While weight has a genetic (nature) component, growing obesity rates must be related to environmental or lifestyle (nurture) changes. Obesity researchers and activists spoke of health risks and lack of insurance coverage for weight-related medical costs. Eating Disorders advocates pointed to the ineffectiveness and harmful impact of dieting and the suffering caused by prevailing ways of talking about weight and health. Physicians, researchers, and spokespersons, including Supermodel Emme, agreed that we should look beyond the scale toward a broader understanding and measurement of health.
In the home, we recognize the pressures young people feel to be like their peers by tuning in to the same media and conforming to fashionable styles. Popular culture's emphasis on appearance and weight can trigger feelings of shame and may lead to unhealthy behaviors - even eating disorders. Children need support in challenging the over-importance of appearances and narrow definitions of health and beauty. When we identify and celebrate diverse examples of physical attractiveness among people we know as well those we can find in the media, we encourage children to discover and enjoy their own unique beauty.
Most mothers have their own history of body image or weight struggles, which may influence what is communicated to children. It is so important to help children focus on who they are on the inside. School and extracurricular activities like sports, music and community service cultivate abilities, skills and self-esteem unrelated to appearance.
Sensitivity is needed when talking with anyone about personal choices such as eating and physical activity. To encourage a positive family lifestyle mothers can focus on the many internal pleasures and benefits of healthy habits. Trying new foods, sharing in meal preparation and gathering for family meals can heighten the aesthetic and social aspects of the eating experience versus focusing on calories and fat grams. Similarly, physical activities can be enjoyed for the camaraderie, relaxation, strength or fun they provide rather than the energy they burn.
The old adage, "you can't judge a book by its cover," reminds us that it is wrong to judge people by the way they look. Weight bias remains a socially acceptable prejudice hurting people of every size, shape, color, sex, and age. We can teach our children that size prejudice, like any prejudice, is wrong and help them focus on what is really important and valuable.
While statistics say that weight is a physical health issue for many Americans, there are those on both ends of the weight spectrum – and in between - for whom weight involves significant mental health issues. A key message of the National Eating Disorders Association is that eating disorders are not faddish choices but serious illnesses. The recently formed Binge Eating Disorder Association recognizes that binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in America effecting more than 8 million people.
Finding that delicate balance, striving to be healthy in a loving accepting way, we can support health for everyone and help to stem the tide of pain and illness threatening more and more of our children.
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